It’s hard to find a suitably dainty snack when you’re a tiny, delicate woman. Crumpets simply don’t transport well, and it seems like the morning flowers never have enough flecks of dew to quench one’s thirst.
Fortunately for all the fair maidens out there, Doritos is here to end your search for suitably “feminine” food: a new line of Doritos chips, aimed specifically at women.
The new chips will apparently be “quieter,” “less messy” and will come in bags small enough to fit in a purse — so, basically, the new chips will be less crunchy, have less flavor, and there will be fewer of them per serving.
“Although women would love to crunch crisps loudly, lick their fingers and pour crumbs from the bag into their mouth afterwards, they prefer not to do this in public,” PepsiCo global chief exec Indra Nooyi said during an interview on the Freakonomics podcast.
“You watch a lot of the young guys eat the chips, they love their Doritos, and they lick their fingers with great glee, and when they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth, because they don’t want to lose that taste of the flavour, and the broken chips in the bottom. Women would love to do the same, but they don’t. They don’t like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don’t lick their fingers.’”
Um, speak for yourself, Indra. As a woman who is only borderline trollish, I can say with certainty that I have zero qualms about licking my fingers our delving into the bottom of a chip bag for the last, delicious shards.
Needless to say, this new, needlessly gendered marketing strategy was not met with thunderous applause on social media.